Your personal circumstances, concerns, and topics of choice.

The workplace, school, home life and friends, hobbies and free time activities, Outpatient, 12-Step, or Aftercare treatment. Creating and maintaining a delicate balance between these important and necessary life-aspects can prove to be a duanting task. Here's how.

In the same manner within which athletes train ... the ability to "do the right thing" across-the-board must be carefully developed. And CONSISTENCY is the key.

The fact that addicts and alcoholics are generally out-of-touch with their feelings and emotions is yesterday's news. The development of more realistic levels of expectation is an important and vital process that can result in quality, long-term sobriety. Let's get busy here.

Many recovering substance abusers have found that successful interaction with figures of authority has proven to be a tough and ongoing challenge. A closer look into this subject often reveals a longstanding pattern of such difficulties. "Get a handle" on this issue and you've just made your life a lot easier. Let's kick it!

Having, handling, mishandling, avoiding, accepting.

Individual self-image and self-esteem are primary factors and relative determinants of one's honesty, integrity, pride, humility, confidence, courage, patience, and perseverance. Collectively we refer to these traits as a measure of "one's character." A practical yardstick that allows one to measure and quantify the health of one's own self-image and self-esteem can be quite accurately gauged through a detailed examination of one's (own) external behaviors. BEHAVIORS almost always tell the tale ...

Sometimes individuals get to a place (within themselves) that they feel they are no longer compelled to challenge and develop themselves in ways they might have early in their recovery process. For some this can prove to be a dangerous mindset, as it can place their hard-won sobriety at risk. Share your personal experiences with The Comfort Zone here, as well as learning from others how you might avoid being there sometime in your future.

This lively topic can be approached from a number of different ways. Associating with those who are still actively using would undoubtedly be considered to be "taking a risk." However; the primary purpose of this discussion thread is to elicit posts and responses from individuals who have recognized that they need to challenge themselves in new ways. Ways that include placing themselves in situations and around other people whereby they are compelled ... or even required ... to "step up" and break out of the stereotyped ways in which they have seen themselves in the past. That is to say, " Taking risks that will better allow you to become the person that you had never before imagined that YOU COULD BE."

Few people who really know drug and alcohol will dispute the notion that those entering formalized treatment or a self-help group are initially out-of-touch with their own feelings and emotions. When such is the case ... it is exceedingly difficult to adequately read or interpret both the motive and intent of others. So, for those in recovery ... the process of accurately "reading other people" is an important life-skill which requires major attention and some accelerated development ... and this can cause a lot of hubub along the way. While some people are hell-bent on learning only from (bad) experience (yes, even after completing treatment, plenty are STILL that way) ... others are willing to take a few tips as you ride along this developmental highway ... and thus save themselves a lot of unnecessary disappointment, heartache, and misery along the way. RULE#1: JUDGE PEOPLE BY WHAT THEY DO (ACTIONS) ... AND NOT MERELY BY WHAT THEY SAY. Those of you who believe that you have already learned this important maxim can share what it took to get you to incorporate this one into your life's bag-of-tricks. Those that have not ... please share your experiences that have resulted in your feelings of anger, disappointment, betrayal, guilt, or self-blame.

Life has it's way of knocking everyone down from time-to-time. Those that have learned to better understand and accept disappointment have an easier time bouncing back. ""Unresolved loss" appears to play a significant role in too many addiction profiles to be ignored. Take a closer look here.

Anger has it's way of wearing a person down, and over time the (mis)management of anger can leave one feeling completely empty, isolated ... and alone. And for those recovering from a substance-use disorder ... uncontrolled and misunderstood anger is commonly a poison that can almost surely lead one back into the jackpot. Anger is one of the easiest emotions to grasp and hold onto tight. It's familiar. And while one might not particularly enjoy feeling angry ... sometimes it's much easier to indulge "anger" than to tolerate other emotion(s) that quite possibly precede it. Whether it be disappointment, frustration, guilt, shame, pity, envy, insecurity, helplessness ... the list can go on and on. Anger can be used (oftentimes unknowingly) to manipulate, to intimidate ... and generally control and impact upon situations involving others. Anger can be utilized (once again ... oftentimes unknowingly) as a crutch and form of personal-denial ... that other, more complex emotions are being felt ... yet supressed. This discussion forum is dedicated to exploring the different aspects of your anger. It can be a place where you can share some positive coping strategies about how you manage anger. Surely one's personal points-of-view have something to so with all of this. Additionally, and for those who are unsatisfied with the level and degree of anger that you experience ... this is the place to talk about that. A lot of stuff here to be sure. Who's up for this one?

Lots of things can effect our attitude. It's not unlike falling off a bicycle and having to get back on. For those who find that their attitude is very easily swayed by external influences, there may be some fundamental, perceptional issues at play (the way we are looking at things). While we can all get a little hot around the collar once in awhile and may need to emotionally regroup ... those who find this happening on a fairly regular basis might consider discussing that in this forum.

"An emotion, desire, physiological need, or similar impulse that acts as an incitement to action" is the way the American Hertiage Dictionary defines the word MOTIVATE. Brushing one's teeth every morning is driven by a motivation, as is finishing your education, finding new or more positive friends, getting married, or finding a better job. Why is it that many individuals have little difficulties with completing some of their "incitements to action," yet are unable to get very far with others of their choosing? This discussion forum explores the ingredients of motivation ... and works toward assisting participants in finding what might be missing from their specific recipe ...

Little of real substance gets accomplished without some conscious, premeditated, and planned intention. Those recovering from a substance-use disorder should consider this simple formula: NO GOALS = LIKELY RELAPSE. However, when one becomes unrealistic about the goals that they set ... they increase the risk of disappointment and failure. Goals that fail to challenge an individual's incentive to learn, adjust, or adapt usually have little passion behind them ... and are frequently abandoned as well. So what is this all about? Is there a formula here that one can follow in order to be successful in reaching their goals? Let's hear what you have to say. How about sharing your secrets?

One can hardly reach a destination if they are unsure of their starting point. Getting from one place to another in life requires an evaluation of one's strengths and weaknesses ... and at times an unwavering, singular sense-of-purpose. While there are always obstacles ... too many take permanent detours and never reach their intended destination. So let's talk about some of the WHYS, right here.

Situations, circumstances, and related topics of your choice.

Consider that our associations with others can serve as a window, thus revealing both in nature and scope, our own ability to look within ourselves. A thorough review and closer examination of what we are looking for in others can provide us with some very beneficial insights.

Whether it be exposure to those who are still using alcohol or other drugs, authority or personality issues with your employer or coworkers, relationships within the workplace, under-employment, or even finding a job ... the list can go on-and-on. This forum presents an opportunity to discuss any and all workplace issues, and can serve as a strong proving-ground to test "your read" on things. Who knows, "Maybe you can learn something new about yourself?" So bring it on, right here.

If we took a poll of all individuals who are currently in recovery, what percentage would we find that begain using alcohol or other drugs as an teeneager, and continued to use right up until the time that they sought some assistance? While an exact count is beyond the scope of this conversation ... it's without question the majority. So now out of that group ... what percentage of individuals either took a pass (thought in reality it was a fail ... pun intended) on finishing high school, entering college, or finishing college, or even graduate school ... during their years of active addiction? Once again, it's likely the majority. So now that we have established that most people who have begun, by whatever means, to practice a substance-free ... the majority of these individuals are undereducated. So what? Well for starters ... as a group those folks were suffering from a substance-use disorder, rather than a lack of brains or intelligence (though based upon their behaviors during their active-use days, it was kind of hard for an outsider to really swallow that one ... but we know it's true). And now they are clean and sober, plying what they have learned during mainstream treatment, from their 12-Step Program, or faith-based recovery model. Yet they are underemployed, intellectually underchallenged, exposed to more workplace alcohol and other drug use than they would be in alternative work-settings ... and they are struggling. For many, it's only a matter of time until they recognize that they simply have little room for advancement in the workforce ... and will first return to the behaviors that perpetuated past substance-use ... with the actual get-high following very close behind. This forum is an opportunity to discuss why many individuals in recovery still shy away from continuing their education in order to work toward their full human potential. While one may be working their respective recovery programs in an exemplary and admirable manner or fashion ... it would appear that there is still alot of work to do when it comes to individual self-esteem, balance, levels-of-expectation, consistency ... and more. Finishing one's education, whether it be high school, college, university, or trade school ... is the grandmaster litmus-test that chalenges one's ability to integrate their mastery of the majority of discussion topics highlighted within this board. Now, can we finally start talking about this?

It is without question that sobriety need be approached one-day-at-a-time. However, continued, quality, long-term sobriety is more reasonably assured with the development of a comprehensive plan. A plan that begins to address one's aspirations, one's hopes, and one's dreams. Believe it or not ... a realistic, thoughtful plan crafted with patience, care, and confidence can deliver almost anything one might desire from life ... and more. Let's discuss the HOW.

When asked about what they would like to be when they grow up, small children commonly provide an answer based upon a person or profession which in their very young mind … serves as a role model: a Fireman, Policeman, Doctor, or maybe even whatever-it-is their Dad does for a living. And as any child gets older (and throughout the life’s course), their ability to identify with … relate to … learn from … and initially emulate … the behaviors, traits, and personal strengths of a chosen role model ... that ability can have a profoundly positive effect on an individual's overall character development, and the quality and direction of their life. The flip-side of this description is a teenager that is so angry and alienated from everyone around them ... that they can seemingly be influenced or impressed by no one ... and their downward spiral continues. Think about this one, and share your insights, opinions, and experiences about your role models. And, for those that have none ... please share WHY you cannot find anyone whose character and behaviors impress you in any meaningful way.

The degree and extent concerning levels of emotional involvement among those in recovery can be extremely variable (especially for those who are early in their recovery process). Finding that emotional comfort zone that allows one to excel in the areas of personal growth and emotional development, while simultaneously pursuing a relationship(s) can oftentimes prove to be a delicate balance for some ... and "the road to ruin" for others. What are the factors, influences, and perspectives in your life that determine this formula? Where do you "draw the line ... and know when it's time to either stick with a relationship ... or cut and run?" This discussion forum is always a hot one. Come on in and cool off!

The only thing missing is the shovel. The relationship is dead ... and everyone else (but you) seems to know that. Those unlucky individuals who have repeated problems "letting go" quite often fail to recognize that the root causes and origins (RC&O) of this torturous pattern of behavior may have already become a repeated, haunting factor in their lives ... the identification of which can be more effectively pinpointed through a closer examination of influences in their past. Share your experiences about this here, and let's do some serious digging ...

The painful and profound effects of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse in childhood or adolescence can carry forward to negatively impact upon our adult lives. The development of substance abuse and difficulties establishing emotional intimacy (trust) when such issues are present is quite common. A dignified and sensitive approach to a wide range of abuse issues, both past and present, can be relied upon here.

The origins and continuation of an eating disorder are most often rooted in a combination of complex, yet interrelated factors. Discuss your experiences here ... whether they be your own, or someone that you care about.

The use of Buprenorphine and Suboxone as a medical treatment component has gained momentum over the past few years, and the longstanding option of prescribed Methadone continues to be widespread ... and still controversial, depending on the circle of conversation. This discussion forum examines some of the "hows and whys" of opitate replacement therapy from various and contrary points-of-view ... in an effort to better educate and inform those who are currently undergoing OTR, and those who may be considering this option in future.

Whatever family issues might have existed prior to our addiction trauma, we likely made matters worse through our use of alcohol and/or other drugs. However ... with sobriety comes a new frontier and the opportunity to rebuild a foundation of trust that can work to mend our oftentimes battered and bruised family relations. Family-related personal circumstances, concerns, and topics of choice.

Getting out of an unhealthy relationship is almost always a good thing, or at least one of your parents thought so when it came to their divorce. That being said, most kids likely view their end of "the divorce" as a raw deal, and that's not really far from the truth. However, the difficult adjustments and new challenges that accompany this radical change in the family structure may: (1) Be skillfully overcome and mastered. (2) Lead to the development of any number of maladaptive-coping strategies that can have a negative impact upon one's further and ongoing emotional development, including one's future relationships. Discussing your feelings and points-of-view about your parent's divorce can lead to new and improved understandings. Oftentimes some fresh personal insights can make the difference in moving forward in life ... on a number of different levels. If you have already buried a lot of that stuff ... it's now time to dig it back up. Right here.

This discussion category provides a forum to discuss the effects of your divorce upon your children ... as a way to monitor both their transitional and longer-term adjustments to this radical change in the family structure. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your divorce ... most children hold an expectation, "Of how things should have been ... even if and when they never were." And it's those expectations that have so much to do with a child's ability to adapt and overcome the end of the parental relationship, as well as the parent's overall strategy, approach, and game plan in this realm. This forum is THE place to get lined-out on this one ...

A parent's remarriage (or your own) can bring with it heightened emotions which should be examined and understood. Two families joining together can be a wonderful thing, and can also prove to be an emotional quicksand. Share your circumstances and experiences here.

The characterization we occasionally see on T.V. or in movies where one person tells another, "Mom always loved you more," may seem like a comical stereotype ... but sometimes a truth can be conveyed in jest. Believe it or not, this issue is a real enough that some individuals carry this sentiment around with them for the better part of their lives ... and the impact and effect that it can have upon a sibling relationship or overall family harmony can be unfavorable and significant. Yes ... this one does take some courage, as well as a degree of keen insight to know or identify that the dynamic is alive and well on your (family's) radar screen.

With all of the love, tolerance, faith and support provided by a spouse or significant other throughout their partner's active addiction ... many relationships literally fall apart once sobriety has been achieved and a couple has arrived in the expected Promised Land. What are some of the factors that might lead to such happenings? Such couples would almost surely never predict that their relationship would implode ... but this is an extremely common occurence. Let's talk about the WHYS.

There are those individuals, ... albeit "a very thin slice of the recovery population pie" ... who having quickly recognized that they had developed a substance-use disorder, sought in short-order an appropriate treatment outlet. Whether it be a mainstream therapeutic modality, an effectively recognized self-help program, or a faith-based recovery model ... these individuals took care of business and got the job done ... but quick. This discussion forum is intended for the few, and proud, that qualify in this category. Let's discuss the impact and effects that your short-term use-history had on your preexisting, stable relationship, and how your recovery efforts have ... or have not ... helped you integrate back into getting the relationship back on track.

This forum is for those individuals in recovery who have recently begun, or have already become accustomed to ... (unwanted) feelings of obligation toward their spouse or significant other ... based in large-part on everything that they've gone through with you ... as opposed to the reality of what you see and feel is truly happening between the two of you. That's all we'll say for now, and let you make your own interpretations upon which to base your response. Remember, no guts ... no glory.

Two individuals who are involved in an ongoing relationship tend to develop patterns-of-behavior upon which the better part of their interactions are based. The non-addicted party is commonly utilized as a crutch of support ... in numerous manners and fashion ... thoughout the other's active addiction. One might possibly assume that the role of caretaker suits that person well, as many endure this position long after other's would have broken camp and headed for the hills. So now, for whatever reasons ... the lightbulb finally goes on ... treatment or self-help is sought ... and you have begun to live a substance-free, recovery lifestyle ... together. Let's hear about some of the things that can (and do) happen next ... and the reasons why a truly mixed-bag of relationship dynamics between the two individuals might take place. There are enough folks out there already living this to know the WHATS, so let's hear some WHYS. Put on your thinking caps for this one ...

Discussions here examine the challenges, difficulties and long-odds of (re)building a relationship based upon the title circumstance of this category. It is also intended to serve as a window of understanding into WHY individuals who ... having made a conscious decision to begin the recovery process ... would choose to tempt fate by dancing around the edges of the same frying pan (again). In horse racing terminology, a trifecta is a parimutuel bet in which the bettor must predict which horses will finish first, second, and third in exact order. The word comes from the related betting term, "perfecta". Contemporary translation = PERFECT ... and that's exactly how things have to go when two people attempt to pull this rabbit out of a hat, though anything is possible. Some thoughts on this matter, please ...

Many chemically-dependent persons abusing alcohol and other drugs are also wrestling with a concurrent, co-morbid illness, and therefore run a greater risk of self-medicating. While mood disorders like depression and bi-polar disorder, anxiety disorders and panic attacks, and affective (thought) disorders like the schizophrenias can provide further obstacles challenging the goal of sobriety ... that goal CAN still be attained, though a double-edged sword now becomes a part-of-the-mix. You can discuss some of the aspects and considerations of your own experience here.

Oftentimes, “A lot of water has passed under the bridge” by the time one is formally diagnosed with a serious, yet treatable illness. At that point, it is oftentimes possible to finally get one's life back on track. Whatever your circumstances have been … it sure hasn't been easy, and something that other people don’t always (care to) understand. Look for some strong identification and support here.

In order to maintain and continue living clean and sober ... you cannot take your drug of choice "substance ABC," but in order to control your diagnosed illness ... you must take "medication "XYZ." It can all get a little fuzzy after awhile, and there is no question that many psych meds can produce difficult and intrusive side-effects for many that are required to take them (to alleviate symptoms). Many individuals found that they were previously able to manage their symptoms (whether they knew they were doing so or not) through the consumption of alcohol and other drugs ... without experiencing such side-effects. Unfortunately, there was a price to pay for that type of "self medicating" as well. And lest we not forget that providing a substance-abuser (albeit one in recovery) with ANY type of medication ... . can by it's very nature be risky business to begin with. There is always the possibility of medication mismanagement ... or the inclination to over-medicate. This topic is intended to motivate general discussion about the dilemma of staying sober when the medication(s) that you have been prescribed may present some problems of their own.

General discussion topics of your choice relating to any and all aspects of the Anonymous Programs: AA, NA, GA, and others ... that may not fall within the scope of the 12-Step topic categories listed below.

The Alcoholics Anonymous "Big Book" has proved to be a blueprint for sobriety success for millions of people. But just how does this Bible of recovery serve so many people so well? In this forum you may discuss how you have utilized the Big Book, and at the same time guide and assist others in the manner and fashion with which they work their 12-Step program.

While Meetings are the heart-and-soul of the 12-Step programs ... the benefits of attendance can go on, and on, and on. Aside from the more obvious benefits, there are also an array of sub-issues surrounding and concerning Meetings: socializing, gossip, sub-cliques and groups-within-the group the after-meeting (eating) meetings, etc.. Here is the chance to voice your opinions and concerns about anything and everything Meetings.

Sponsorship is essential for anyone working a 12-Step program; especially those early-in-sobriety ... and not such a bad idea for those who have some time under their belt. Yet there can be some pitfalls when selecting ... or staying with ... a mis-matched sponsor. Discussions here concerning some interesting aspects and considerations concerning Sponsorship.

This trio has a special place in recovery, the meaning and interpretation of which will ultimately vary depending upon the individual. Relevant discussion topics of your choosing.

Spirituality and the concept of a Higher Power are important components within the 12-Step programs. However, though these notions can be ... and in actuality are ... defined and interpreted in many different ways. Share what each of these might mean to you, and how you apply them to working YOUR program.

The often worn cliche, "Relapse is a part of Recovery" may be true for most, but the implication SHOULD NOT be interpreted as EVERYONE will relapse at some point in their recovery. The fact is ... there are those that DO NOT. While the adage would appear to have been coined as a way to support the return to the Program for those who have relapsed ... it can also been seen as a patent excuse for others to slip-and-slide along with their inadequate and half-stepping efforts. However ... it is known that there are certain factors that are commonly factored into the Relapse formula, as they are consistently expressed by those fortunate enough to have made it back to the meeting rooms. Express your opinions on this somewhat controversial subject, or share your own Relapse experience in order to assist others in avoiding the same.